Misc. Monday: Mr. Mrs. Me

I was struck this weekend by a strange pheonmena. I'm pretty sure it falls under the category of adulthood, but I can't be certain. You know those adults, always trying to pull one over on us...other adults. Yeah...???

This past Sunday, while attending church, I needed to get the pastor's attention, but instead of calling out "Hey, Pastor Poole", I called out "Hey, Rich."

And that got me thinking:

Growing up I was taught to use Mr./Mrs./Ms. as a sign of respect when addressing my elders, but even my elders now introduce themselves to me using their first name. In fact, since moving to LA, I don't know if I actually know the last names of most people I meet. Mind you, most of them are right around my age (including my pastor), but even those substantially my senior have given me only a first name. It appears, I have reached the age where I am a Mr./Mrs./Ms. and therefore, first names are acceptable when speaking with another Mr./Mrs./Ms.

This is not to say I don't still use the three Ms on many occasions (showing respect is an essential element of any society), but it does create an interesting grey area. For example, how should I address people from my past who I used to address in the formal? Should I be offended if a child addressed me by my first name?  When people ask if they can address me as Sarah, is it okay to say "I'd rather you use Ms. Anderson?" Is it considered stuffy and old-fashioned to address a cover letter using a last name? How many times do you correspond with someone via e-mail before addressing them by their first name? Or does it depend on how they sign their response to you?

Is it that I am simply noticing another facet of adulthood, or is society changing from formal to informal? And if society is changing what affect will that have on future generations? Do we learn to respect by showing respect, do we show respect by addressing people formally? And will changing the way we address people change how we view them?

i.e. If I can call my boss by his first name then we must be on the same level, 

so why should I have to take orders from him? 

i.e. My teacher let's me use her first name so I can talk to her like I talk to my friends.

As with most things adulthood there is no definite answer. But it does get one thinking...